9 Ways To Recover From the Acute Phase of a Breakup

Even if you were “addicted” to a narcissist!

Photo by Brad West on Unsplash

It’s not that the relationship was necessarily less painful than the breakup. In fact, staying in the relationship could be (and usually is) more painful.

  1. Our brains start getting off on the pain (even if we don’t feel that way), and/or
  2. We encounter just enough good times to suffice. Either way, we’re hooked. It’s truly an addiction. Much like any synthetic/illicit drug out there.

Now that you’ve separated, it’s important that everything you do is geared toward taking your life back, re-establishing a routine of your own, reclaiming your head, heart, and space.

1. Neuro-Emotional Technique (NET)

2. Psychotherapy

3. Yoga

4. Spiritual videos

5. Narcissism videos

This is usually an unpleasant leg to your healing journey, but a necessary one.

Most importantly, I learned how to detect the early warning signs of a narcissistic relationship. And now, I’m learning how to heal from narcissistic abuse.

  • I would delve into Dr Ramani’s channel first. She has a glossary section that defines all the different subtypes and vocabulary terms that serve as an excellent Narcissism 101.
  • Then, I recommend Lisa A Romano (especially her “Signs of a Narcissist” playlist) and Dr Les Carter, who focus a little more on relationships with narcissists and how to deal with them.
  • Next, I recommend Melanie Tonia Evans, since she’s much more upbeat and proactive when it comes to actually beginning to heal from narcissistic relationships and abuse.
  • Finally, I recommend circling back to Lisa A Romano for the next stage of healing, which is to look deep within your core, accessing your authentic emotions and reflecting back on the earliest memories of your childhood and examining them closely for any clues that may have created insecurity, vulnerability, and/or codependency.

6. Hobbies

  • Do you know or remember who you are, what you like to do, and what you’re interested in?
  • Are there activities you used to love but let go when you met the narcissist and they reacted with “meh”?
  • Are there interests you used to have or things you used to do that reflected and expressed who you are as a person that got elbowed aside when the narcissist began to take over more and more of your time and life?
  • What are your hobbies now? What would you like to do with the rest of your life?

7. Add structure to your day/week

  1. Focused on you and “getting back to you”
  2. Health-promoting — physically, emotionally, cognitively
  3. Well-rounded, a good variety, addressing multiple areas of life
  4. Productive/Constructive
  5. Realistically attainable — easy enough for your abilities
  6. Challenging enough to encourage you to grow and evolve
  7. Versatile/Flexible, to allow for unexpected life situations
  8. Ideally, it’s also fun! Something you actually enjoy, want to do, and look forward to doing.

Pepper your to-do list for the day with a variety of those activities — a little meditation here, a fruit and vegetable smoothie there, maybe even a little creative writing or getting together with friends after work, and maybe a little reading to unwind before bed.

8. Time with friends/support system

9. Self-Care in general

Final Thoughts



An autistic integrative medicine doctor, survived 20y with a controlling mastermind, widowed at 44, starting all over again.

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The Silent Wave

An autistic integrative medicine doctor, survived 20y with a controlling mastermind, widowed at 44, starting all over again.